A Question And An Answer.

Why Blog?

What's the point?
I ask my self this every time I open this screen.
It's not like I don't know what is going on in my head.
So what's the point of spilling it unto the internet?
It's not like many people read it,
And depend on my words for creative sustenance.
So why pepper the web with my half-witted poetry?
Why post at all?
I won't change how things have turned out,
No matter how much I write and wish for it all to have been differently.
Why blog?
Because I like to show myself,
That it's okay to feel,
You're allowed to hurt,
It's all right to cry,
(Even if you have a Y chromosome)
It's all right to wonder and to wish,
It's natural to question,
But be ready for an answer, you may not want to hear.
Why Blog?
It's to remember that,
I'm not here to impress anyone.
And it's to remind myself,
That in a time where I don't really know what I'm all about,
I've got three things,
My Words, My Family, and My God.
Anything else isn't worth my time.
So where does this fall under?
All Of The Above.

From the Heart.

I LOVE:
my God.
my family.
my friends.
my job.
abba.
fairy tales.
poetry.
history.
feta cheese.
eclectic music.
doodling.
disney.
mythology.
writing.
exaggerating.
nintendo.
lists.
fads.
coconut.
giggling babies.
napping under trees.
cherry cola.
my iPod.
random butterflies.
theater.
mommy.
bears.
colors.
the unknown.
the unexpected.
the unexplained.
the unnecessary.
the unrehearsed.
the unwritten.
happily ever afters.
talking.
the things that leave me speechless.
cracking my knuckles.
fraggles.
green olives.
irony.
captain crunch.
dipping my fries in ranch-up (a ketchup-ranch dressing hybrid).
comic books.
dreaming.
tim burton.
noogies.
silver dollars
others laughter.
being caught off guard.
sneezing.
ideas.
buffalo wings.
change.
mcdonald's pickles.
hugs.
feeling small every now and then.
emerald green.
my sister.
chewing three pieces of gum at once.
learning new things.
the classics.
rambling on like a fool.
plaid.
meeting people.
loafers.
knowing useless facts.
silence.
hearing the sound of my own voice.
alone time.
knowing that i am never truly alone.
water.
kissing my grandma on the cheek.
cliches.
pop-culture references.
metaphors.
outdated idioms.
giving hi-fives.
green eyes.
smiles.
you.
my hair.
her.
whispering.
my future.
crying.
hibernating.
abrupt endings.

The Best Policy

Time For Some
Honesty

Below are Five Questions my friends and family have asked me over this year,
That I really need to answer again,
This time...
Honestly.

1) What do you want to be when you grow up?
First Answer:
An Actor, A Pastor, Maybe a writer..
True Answer:
I have absolutely no idea, I'm 19 years old, I'm just trying to turn 20 without too many complications

2) Do you miss someone since you went to college?
First Answer:
No, it's been pretty easy to keep myself occupied with new people.
True Answer:
Several someones. Some more then others, and a few more then I can say.

3) How have you been sleeping?
First Answer:
Gee Mom, I've been sleeping great, the beds are nice, and my new sleep schedule works out perfectly.
True Answer:
I haven't had a good nights sleep in over eight months.

4) How does it feel to be out on your own?
First Answer:
Amazing! I don't know if I'll be able to go back home now.
True Answer:
...It's fun, but sometimes, I just miss my mommy.

5) Have you ever been in love?
First Answer: No. Not real love. Not yet.
True Answer: Yes. Head over heels, Ears over Rear, Cliches over Similes.

A Season For Poetry Vol. 2

Heart Scribbles

I wrote you a song today,
About how I love you
And how I love your way,
How I will love you tomorrow
And how I loved you yesterday,
But it doesn't matter what I say
You'll never hear it.
It doesn't matter if I finish it,
Work the glitches
Fix the tempo
I should spare the stitches,
And just let it go.

AND

I wrote you a letter today,
With words so sweet
Of my hope so true,
How I long to be back
On the shore with you,
But no matter how much I write,
by sun, moon or candlelight.
I'll never send it.
It doesn't matter if I see the Postman,
I'll keep it hidden
Like only I can.
Because a song is just a poem with music added in
And a letter is just a dream thought up by a pen,
Neither of them are worth your attention
But I'll dry off these pages,
And write them again.

Relationship Tip #592

On occasion a very schmaltzy idea will pop into my mind,
An idea that could possibly make my romantic life a little easier.
So allow me to enlighten you as to my most recent amorous epiphany
(In hopes that you may help spread the love.)
(...So to speak.)
Many guys may not admit this,
But we need to have things spelled out for us.
I guess what I mean is:
I need to know if I'm special to you.
It's simple really.
I need to know if I'm wasting my time trying to get to know you.
So if you could let me know how you feel about me,
Sooner then Later.
That'd be great.
I know, I know,
It's usually not a ladies place to address her feelings so plainly,
but times are changing,
So for Pete's sake,
Open Up!

A Season for Poetry Vol. 1

Masquerade de Adoration

Our masks are on,
Both inside and out,
But the false faces we dawn
Just add to my doubt.
The music begins,
The dancers are set
With you in my arms, I'll never forget.
You smile at me and I respond with a nod,
You ask me what's wrong since I am acting so odd
I turn to you and firmly respond
"I am asking you one last time,
Through one last poem
With one last rhyme,
My eyes are sore,
My cheeks are wet,
You asked for more,
And this is all I have left,
Where do we stand?"
I ask with a grin.
Afraid of the answer,
You're forming within.
"Your move, my beloved.
So take your time,
try not to rush it.
I'll give you this chance
to end this dance,
to be the midnight
of this ball,
For I refuse to continue
Hand in Hand
this heart-swollen waltz
on this dance floor of sand.
So tell me,
True or False?
Will you take my hand
or Will you take my heart?
But remember,
You'll take it all,
If and when we part"
And then,
You sigh
With no reply.
You pull away
Nothing to say.
And as abruptly
As it started.
It Ends.



~And to think I thought you were the graceful one~

Weekend Juggling

So my weekend has just begun and it's already been one of the most productive/craziest of the summer:

1) I've managed to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls
(Thanks Hollywood for taking my childhood dreams and mashing them into an amalgamation of CGI splurging and Shia LeBouf's upchuck)
2) I've traveled to the Land of Disney and spent four hours on a play date with my inner-child.
3) I went with my roomate and his grandparents to see "Taking Steps" a British farce by playwright Alan Ayckbourn.
4) Began a weekend quest to rewatch the original Indy J Trilogy.
5) Currently attempting to become offbook for Little Shops of Horrors, three days before the deadline.
6) I've actually maintained a somewhat regular schedule of Blog Posting, which is more then most of my "blog-buddies" can say. Yay for fads that become hobbies!
7) I'm working on an audition piece for a summer production of the Sound of Music
8) I'm checking out a new church to plug into, so any suggestions are more then welcome.

And the best part is?
There's still two whole days for more!
Yip-yip-yaroo!

Washing Day

Good Morning Blogger.
I'm feeling good about this one.
I think I'll type a little longer.
Yup, that's about right.

-Perfect-

A change in me

I loathe quotations. Albeit sometimes the best things to say, have already been said...and published...and in some cases...written into lyrics for a Disney Musical.
Nonetheless, I have been sorting through a lot of feelings recently and I haven't had enough words to attach to them. Until now.

So without further ado, let me say thank you Alan Menken, for saying what I didn't know I wanted to say:

A Change In Me
(From Beauty and the Beast the Musical)
There's been a change in me
A kind of moving on
Though what I used to be
I still depend on
For now I realize
That good can come from bad
That may not make me wise
But oh it makes me glad

And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams
But I don't mind
For now I love the world I see
No change of heart a change in me

For in my dark despair
I slowly understood
My perfect world out there
Had disappeared for good
But in it's place I feel
A truer life begin
And it's so good and real
It must come from within

And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams but I don't mind
I'm where and who I want to be
No change of heart
A change in me

No change of heart
A change in me

Metus Sese

I am not afraid of death.

I know that God has a claim to my soul,
So when I die my destination is his to decide.
I am not afraid of poverty.
I know that there will always be money,
And a hunger for more of it.
I am not afraid of love.
Because I do not know what love is,
Thus I cannot fear it.
I am not afraid of losing myself,
Because I have yet to find myself,
.But.
I am afraid of losing you,
And that scares me to death.

A Bummer of A Summer.

This Summer my days are packed:
Working 7 am-5 pm
Sleeping 6 pm-6 am
Thinking about it all 24/7

B. Well

And for once in a very long time,

He really had nothing to say about it all.